i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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