Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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