I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I need a hoe opinion
go on
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
