I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
