id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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