i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
why do cheetos always look like penises
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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