well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I have fence marks all over my body
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
