D3 body, D1 cock
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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