"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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