hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
