I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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