I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
are you so shy because you have an std?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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