Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
