I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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