either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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