is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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