forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
