how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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