Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
