Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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