He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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