Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
