I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
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