GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
