dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
