The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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