does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
