I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
