The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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