I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Just pee around me
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize