You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
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