so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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