I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Randomize
