dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
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