We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
