Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
