so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I think people are normalizing furries
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
