that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
