If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Randomize
