I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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