Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
