Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
