you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize