fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
