Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
