I'm lost and stupid without you.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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