Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
