i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize
