guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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