dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
