I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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