Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
