her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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