last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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