she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
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She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
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i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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