I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
