Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
