The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
