I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
