Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
