Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
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