I hope mine doesn't look like that
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
